Disagreeing Better Toolkit for Clinicians and Care Teams-Receptive Intentions vs. Receptive Behavior

Video Transcription

One of the hardest lessons we've learned in our research on disagreement is that you don't get credit for what you're doing in your mind.  You only get credit for behavior because that's the only thing the other person can see. This distinction is especially meaningful in healthcare because so much advice to clinicians  focuses on the importance of empathy and compassion. But most folks who work in healthcare are already empathetic and compassionate.  What we need to do is use behavior to clearly show our empathy and compassion to our patients. And the most clearly observable behavior in a conversation is actually language.  Okay, can we unpack that a little bit? What do you mean by language being behavior? And what about all the other behaviors we've been told to care about? Body language?  Facial expressions?  So, language is behavior because every word or phrase you say is a choice that you make and one that other people can see.  You could have said any other thing, but instead you chose to say this. And that makes language powerful because your patient is directly exposed to what you just said.  And we generally have really good consensus about what words mean. There's a lot more agreement and clarity when it comes to words than when it comes to nonverbal signals.  If I'm looking you in the eye, am I being compassionate or am I challenging you? If I'm staring off into space, am I thinking hard or am I bored?  Okay, so what should people be communicating with their words and how should they do it? I'm thinking again of Michael and Dr. Hagen.  Remember in the last module we mentioned that in many disagreements, receptive people are viewed more positively.  Recognizing the benefits of receptiveness and striving to be more receptive is one thing, but you have to express your receptiveness. You have to speak your receptiveness out loud.  Right. For all we know, Dr. Hagen did think carefully about Michael's reasons for not getting boosted.  But because any consideration she may have given to Michael's arguments happened in her head, he couldn't tell. What he heard was that she immediately started counter-arguing.  So her behavior suggested that she was not being receptive.  You

Video Summary

The transcript emphasizes the importance of demonstrating empathy and compassion through behavior, especially in healthcare. The focus is on using language as a powerful tool to convey these qualities to patients, as words are directly heard and understood. Unlike nonverbal cues, words are clear and universally understood. Being receptive in conversations is highlighted as crucial, but it is essential to express this receptiveness verbally. The example of Dr. Hagen and Michael illustrates how internal considerations, if not vocalized, can lead to misunderstandings. Ultimately, actions speak louder than thoughts, and expressing empathy and receptiveness through language is vital in effective communication.

Keywords

empathy

compassion

behavior

healthcare

language