Let's get back to our friends Dr. Hagen and her patient Michael. As the conversation about boosters progressed, Michael continued to push back. Most people, including myself, survived COVID just fine. Dr. Hagen replied in a way she hoped would make Michael see the larger picture. Look, just because you had a mild case once doesn't mean it will be as easy the next time. There's also the potential risk of developing long COVID. I am really concerned about that. Plus, you're not just taking a risk with your own life, but also your community. Did you not say that your daughter is pregnant? This is not just about you. Everyone's always talking about how selfish it is not to get the stupid vaccine. I work construction at the height of the pandemic. Back then, everyone called us heroes for just showing up. Now I'm selfish for not wanting to shoot myself up with something that I know made me sick? Come on, Doc. Maybe you guys are all in cahoots with the pharma companies. Everyone's just trying to make a buck, I guess. Okay, so let's break this down for a second. Dr. Hagen is trying to convince Michael of something he doesn't want to hear. Michael's failure to quickly change his mind makes her think that he needs more and more reasons. As she gives him more facts, and he keeps resisting, she keeps peppering him with new arguments. Notice that she is right about everything she's saying, but being right is not helping. If both of us believe we're right and the other person is wrong, but nobody's changing their minds, frustration will quickly turn into bewilderment. Why is this other person not budging? Maybe they need more information, or maybe they're too stubborn, or maybe they have ulterior motives. This is how negative conflict spirals begin. For example, Dr. Hagen is likely thinking that Michael is missing crucial information and is being unreasonably stubborn. Michael is thinking that Dr. Hagen is being too pushy and may have ulterior motives for promoting the vaccine. This psychological process is fast and automatic. In disagreement, the most seemingly reasonable explanation for why the other person is refusing to see the light is that they just don't want to get it. All right then, now we're getting to the heart of it. What can we take away from this? Any disagreement can become a conflict when two people with opposing views both think they are right, and instead of agreeing to disagree, they try to make the other person see it their way, and the continued disagreement is attributed to the other person's lack of intelligence, hidden agenda, or lack of integrity. Well, the good news is that we're not stuck in the cycle forever. Next, we'll talk about some people who are better at seeing an issue from both sides and what makes them different. Before continuing, we'd like you to go to disagreeingbetter.com slash survey and take the receptiveness survey. It will only take you about five minutes, and then make sure to save your results as a PDF. That way, you can consider your own score as you work through the next module.

booster shot

COVID risks

vaccination skepticism

conflict resolution

empathy